So Good It Hurts                       

German - Irish - Czech Catholic Boy

Steve Shaw was born December 17, 1966 in Lemay Missouri, a township just south of St. Louis.  He was the fifth of five children and was raised in a very traditional setting.  His Bohemian and Irish father was a lineman for 40 years at the local electric utility and his German mother was the keeper of the home.  “Mom stayed home and kept the order in the house, she was always there for us.  Dad worked many hours and he was the breadwinner and in charge of discipline.  They were blessed with a tremendous amount of character and common sense.  Dad was hard on us, but taught us to work hard and to earn our money.  Mom taught us to share and love.”

Growing Up

A devoted Catholic family, all five children attended Catholic school.  Many of Shaw’s lyrics reflect this foundation of being Catholic and coming from a long line of union craftsmen.  “I’m very proud of both.  Everything from my religion is positive – I only wish I could better live up to such of a beautiful faith.  I’ve also been a member of several different unions and I’ve seen the good and bad.  I truly believe in their worth, I just wish every member had the work ethic to back it up.  I never wanted to go home and think that I didn’t earn my pay – I couldn’t live with that.”

Shaw’s first love was sports, as he played any sport he could find the time for.  “Mainly organized soccer, hockey and baseball – but we were kids from another era.  There were still sandlots and playgrounds and kids running around the neighborhood on their own.  So we played it all – football and basketball too.”

Taking the Musical Path

Shaw found his knack in music first, on the bass guitar. “I bought a bass right out of high school, taught myself, started a band, and began writing music, immediately.   My life had always been consumed with sports.  After school I felt like I had no identity…music gave that to me.” 

While earning a Bachelor’s Degree at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, Shaw studied music theory, classical music, and jazz bass.  He also took the time to hone his rock bass skills through a variety of lessons, but the most important task he took on during his college years was to teach him self guitar.  He then possessed his songwriting tool of choice – the acoustic guitar.  “I locked myself in my room and played for hours everyday.  I was obsessed.  I learned one chord at a time – first G major, then E minor, then C major, and on and on.  Then I worked on transitions.  I played until I couldn’t play anymore because of the pain to my fingers.  I was proud of that accomplishment.  There were days I was convinced that I’d reached my ceiling, but then a week later, I was improving again.  From there I learned a few songs –  like Jim Croce and James Taylor – but soon I was writing my own songs.  I’d been inspired at that time by what was going on around St. Louis.  There were some great artists doing their own thing.  I thought that was much more fulfilling than playing covers.”  Those St. Louis acts included Uncle Tupelo (later splitting into Wilco and Son Volt), The Eyes (signed to Atlantic Records), and Broken Toys (signed to Hollywood Records).

Shaw remembers a specific night while playing at Kennedy’s, a premier bar in St. Louis, “The band had finally worked up to playing on the weekends to a packed room.  We were playing all original music. The thrill of performing and the feeling I had at that moment on stage brought me to the realization that this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.”

Freeze the Hopper

 This drive is what led him to numerous accomplishments as a musician.  In 1995, Shaw formed a trio, Freeze the Hopper, with drummer Rick Kuchler and guitarist Sean Gorman.  The group instantly gained popularity in and around St. Louis with an alternative, pop feel.  “We were college rock – when alternative music truly was alternative to the main stream.”  Shaw’s straight-forward song writing style and intelligent lyrics blended well with Gorman’s melodic guitar playing.  In 1996, the band recorded ‘Illusions of Grandeur,’ which was distributed by Milwaukee-based Prometheus Disc.  Five of the twelve original songs gained radio play throughout the Midwest.  Shaw felt his career was taking off.  “People loved our shows, and I was promised a million things.  Things you only hear in the movies like ‘I’m going to make you the next biggest thing (to come out of St. Louis).’  Atlantic Records contacted me.  Producers and publishers from Nashville were calling.  People were very excited about us.  But you have to stay grounded and you have to realize that in this business, most of the stuff you hear is bunk.  That’s one of the reasons I named the album ‘Illusions of Grandeur’.  The reason I used the word ‘Illusion’ is because I see beauty in things that other people think is garbage, but I guess in retrospect I definitely could have used the word ‘Delusions’.”  

Shaw was never interested in the ‘front man, songwriter’ label, because he preferred a team approach.  “I came from a sports background.  I was always interested in the strength of the song, not necessarily the stylistic leanings of any one player.”  However, Shaw found out that with a little success, many times comes a clash of egos within a band.  “It was a good lesson for me.  These were my songs; the band was my outlet.  I found myself doing most of the work, and then being criticized by my own band mates with no solution as to what would make them happy.”

Shaw wasted no time in making changes.  He revamped the entire Freeze the Hopper lineup, this time with people close to him.  He convinced his cousins, Jim and Steve Fowler to take over at drums and bass respectively.  With Shaw now handling rhythm guitar, Todd Jones (Well Hungarians) signed on to play lead guitar.  The band instantly went into the studio to record ‘Violets at Night’ which was voted ‘Best Rock Song’ and released in 1997 as a single by Blueberry Hill Records on a ‘St. Louis Best’ compilation.  A video for the single soon followed.

Freeze the Hopper used the momentum that the single created by becoming one of the busiest bands in the Midwest, sometimes playing two different venues on the same day.  The band went on to play at Riverport Amphitheater in St. Louis during the Summer Jam Festival and to perform at hundreds of venues throughout the Midwest, including many radio and television appearances. 

 On May 12^th, 1997, Freeze the Hopper released another full-length album, ‘Burn’, featuring 14 original songs.  In 1998, Shaw was asked to perform the National Anthem at the Savvis Center in St. Louis while singing and playing his acoustic guitar.

Reality of Life and Responsibility

It was around this time that another common band phenomenon occurred – the reality of life and responsibility.  “Personal things - life-changing events – were hitting everyone in one way or another.  A band situation was just too hard for me to hold together.  I still consider Todd the best guitar player I’ve ever played with – he went on to find success with The Well Hungarians.  And the important thing is that we’re still friends.  My cousin Steve went on to record a disc of his own with his band Still Free.  Jim and Steve are my cousins – they’re blood – so they know I’ve got their back.  When Freeze the Hopper faded away, it was nothing like that first line-up change.  We were all men about it; we knew the reality of keeping it together.  I’m proud of those guys and what we accomplished, and I would play with them again in a moment.”

The last song Freeze the Hopper recorded was the single, ‘Something Here’, which caught the attention of Ink Records, who released the song on another St. Louis-best compilation entitled, ‘Sound Bytes St. Louis.’  The song was significant in the fact that it represented a shift in Shaw’s songwriting.  The rootsier, jangly tune was then re-recorded and appeared on Shaw’s debut solo disc, ‘Lay This Burden Down’.

Going Solo

After a two-year hiatus in which Shaw moved out of St. Louis and into rural Missouri, the creative juices started flowing again.  “I’ve always been that ‘lone-wolf’ type of guy.  I needed to find that isolation, out in the country, to regenerate myself.”  Soon he began anew playing acoustic music, and performing in and around the St. Louis area.  All the time Shaw was writing new material, some of which he would perform live.  “The music was evolving and eventually I sort of developed this vision of what I wanted to pursue; much more eclectic with lots of different instruments; more of an Americana turn than what I was writing before.”  

It was at this time that he met flautist and vocalist Stacie Missey.  “Since the day I met her, Stacie was a stunning person; a beautiful person.  She really liked what I was writing and she encouraged me and inspired me.  To this day, she’s stood by me through some rough years. Stacie was always around and she was interested in getting involved.  I always knew she was a great singer, but then I found out what a fabulous flute player she is.  All of a sudden, the vision was complete with the sound and direction I wanted.  It was a perfect fit.”  

Consequently, Shaw’s solo debut album, ‘Lay This Burden Down’ was conceptualized the night he was trying to finish re-recording ‘Something Here’.  “Stacie was at the studio with me on a late night.  I wanted this thing to be as ‘musical’ as possible so I was trying to add backup vocals.  We were tired and drunk, and I was frustrated because I couldn’t get the part.  She was trying to help me and was singing it great.  Dave Probst was engineering the session and he suggested she do it.  Well, we really had to prod her into singing it.  I remember she was so timid that Dave had to crank the input signal all the way up for us to even hear her.  She laid down four tracks of backups and it sounded great but I really had to sit with it, because I felt it was a major thing to introduce a female voice to the music.  It just sounded so good to me that it helped me make this change in my approach.  It really made a lot of sense because, like I said, I wanted this thing to be different - more musical and eclectic.”  A year later, Stacie was in the studio confidently laying down numerous flute tracks and solo vocal lines.

Lay This Burden Down

Shaw’s solo career was officially launched as ‘Lay This Burden Down’ was released in July of 2006.  It featured 20 original songs, and it was, again, critically acclaimed.  “Freeze the Hopper seemed to always do pretty good with the critics, but when Penny Black Music reviewed it from England and praised it in the same arena as The Beatles – that was redemptive.  I mean, the freaking Beatles!  There were really no regrets with that album.  I knew going solo was the right thing to do.”

The meaning in Shaw’s music has always been derived from his feelings of being an outsider. “I loved hard, edgy heavy metal.  I guess I was a part of the disassociated youth. I wrote about the things I didn’t feel good about.  I tried to erupt emotions through the songs.”

Though his approach to writing hasn’t really changed through the years, the feel and style of his music has.  “The music has been evolving and I’m exploring different ways to approach it. It still parallels John Lennon’s edginess, but is definitely more influenced by rootsier music like country, blues, and folk.  That’s what I love about bands like The Beatles and Led Zeppelin.  One song they were full-on rock and roll, then the next would be a country song, and then they’d turn around and play Delta blues or an acoustic ballad."

One thing that has remained a constant is Shaw’s emphasis on the lyrics, as they have always been a very important part of his song writing. “I come from a long line of middle-class, hard working union people.  I’m German, Irish and Czech.  I’m Catholic.  I think I’m a bit guilt-ridden, though I don’t know why.  Depression runs through part of my family.  I think I inherited my father’s toughness and my mother’s good heart, though sometimes I know she’s tougher than all of us put together. I’m a white male living in the 2000’s in a changing America. I’m very so-called liberal on some things and so-called conservative on others.  I believe in freedom and sometimes in order to protect freedoms you need to swing from one political spectrum to the other.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence when some people’s ‘beliefs’ line up perfectly with some party’s plank.  I frequently feel alone no matter where I am. I’ve always felt ‘old’, like I’m looking through someone else’s eyes. But there’s one thing I believe -  and I’ll go to my grave believing – that the middle-class in America pays all the taxes, does all the work, and along with the lower class, fights all the wars in this country.  The middle and lower class – the working people – that’s the America I love.  Corporations know no country.  These are the things I write about.”

Reflections

Shaw experienced an epiphany several years ago regarding his life and his music.  Long ago he realized the fulfillment of sharing his words and music through his live performances.  But this was something different.  Should he continue to make the necessary sacrifices needed to continue to write, record, and release quality albums, or is this the time to fade into the sunset?

Shaw always possessed the propensity to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.  This sensitivity to the world’s problems and the human condition had a way to ‘control the pen’ and provide an outlet for his emotions.  While looking over letters from fans and listening to a favorite album, he came across a letter from a young lady from Nebraska.  She wrote that every line in Shaw’s song, “Another Lonely Day,” applied to her and her life.  She thanked him for writing a song that she could so relate to.  It reminded him of why he loved music and of all the songs written by others that he considered “perfect”. 

“Some of those songs are so good that it hurts – it actually physically hurts – the beauty, the emotion, the power to move people.  I’ve always felt that I had it in myself to write such a song.  I remember reading an article in which Ozzy Osborne spoke of working his whole life in search of writing his own ‘Sergeant Pepper’.  I guess artists usually are their own worst critics.”

Shaw continues: “Sometimes life gets in the way of our aspirations – personal issues, financial issues, professional rejections, and we lose the target and lose ourselves.  Music has never led me down the path of how some people equate success in the business, but without it, I don’t think I could survive.  It is an elixir, a pain killer.  Without music, life would fade to black”.

Several recordings later, Shaw continues to write and record relevant compositions of substance as he continues to hold the hope of someday writing his own ‘Sergeant Pepper.’